Picture it. A seemingly normal house on a quiet street. It could be any neighborhood. It could be your neighborhood. From the outside, it looks serene… but inside, a terrible injustice is taking place. Today, we shine a light on this hidden horror.
In this house lives a small dog. He seems cool – always there with a lick or a bark, happy to snuggle. But in the wee hours of the morning, his true nature emerges. Long before any alarms go off, he awakens. He wants food. He wants to go outside. He wants this NOW.
So, he marches to the head of the bed and awakens The Food Lady. He licks her face. He hits her with his paws. He makes Chewbacca noises in her ear. Sometimes she relents and gets up. Other times, she desperately tries to hide under the covers until her alarm goes off. And yet…
One weekend, The Food Lady goes out of town, leaving the small dog with his other beloved companion, also known as “That Guy!” Saturday morning arrives, the sun rises, and the small dog sleeps on.
And on.
And on.
That Guy! gets up and goes downstairs to make coffee. The small dog sleeps.
That Guy! comes back upstairs to take a shower. The small dog sleeps.
Eventually, That Guy! wakes up the small dog and asks if he would like breakfast and to go outside. Considering this offer, the small dog lazily and leisurely assents, stretching and starting his day.
This pattern repeats the next morning. The small dog and That Guy! sleep in and no one is rudely awakened before they want to be.
The Food Lady returns and learns this news. She feels victimized, but hopeful. Perhaps the small dog has turned over a new leaf and will let her sleep?
Foolish, foolish woman. The next morning, her nightmare begins all over again…
What lies beneath?
In the interest of presenting a fair and balanced piece, we reached out to the small dog’s representatives, who assured us that he had a very good reason for this disparate treatment. They did not elaborate.
This story has caused a ripple effect throughout the community. In the wake of this controversy, canine interest groups have started using the hashtag #notalldogs and sharing stories of dogs who do not discriminate against their local Food Ladies. We’ll keep you posted as this story develops.
LOL!!! Well, if it makes you feel any better, our crew is up at 5 am no matter who they are with, Lady, Guy, or PetSitter. No discrimination here, NO ONE gets to sleep in!
Jan K recently posted..Keeping Busy with a Variety of Summer Fitness Fun
Equal treatment for all!
This is hilarious. We have the same disparity. The dogs only bark like crazy to be let inside when I’m home; not when That Guy is home.
Kimberly Gauthier recently posted..7 Secrets of Attending SuperZoo I Nearly Missed
That’s so funny… I wonder why they do that?
LOL You really need an audio file of the Twilight Zone music to go with this, though it is perfect just as it is. What is it about those guys? Do they hypnotize the dogs or something? (Same scenario at my house.)
Sue recently posted..Adopt Trinity a One Eyed #LabradorRetriever @WaysideWaifs in #KCMO
LOL… that’s a good point (though perhaps beyond my technical abilities). 🙂
That is too funny. I have to wonder if that would happen here. The small dog in this family wakes the food lady up at 6am every…..single….day!
Mary recently posted..After Before Friday-In the truck
Haha… these small dogs are just out to get us!
Lol. That is too funny, or too sad I guess if you are The Food Lady. Thankfully this doesn’t happen at our house. It’s 8:15 am right now and I’m in bed dorking around on my iPad while That Guy sleeps in and while the dog sleeps on my feet. On weekdays we get up around 7:15 but she’ll often stay in bed (in our bed all by herself) until 8 or so. It’s her best feature.
Jackie Bouchard recently posted..Wordless Wed.: To Sleep, Perchance To Dream
It does make me a very tired Food Lady, that’s for sure.
Bella used to sleep in too (until she was older) – it was glorious.
LOL! I was loving it anyway but the last paragraph (#notALLdogs) threw me over the top. Brilliant, as always. 🙂
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Aw, thanks. 🙂
My dogs also discriminate against the local food lady.
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It’s an epidemic!
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We have a dog like that in our house too. Sundays the lady gets to sleep in and when this dog bothers her, she says, “Go get Daddy.”
Jodi recently posted..Follow-Up Friday – July 31, 2015
I need to teach Tavish that… 😉
LOL! I was loving it anyway but the last paragraph (#notALLdogs) threw me over the top. Brilliant, as always.Dogs
Thanks! 🙂
i have the same dog over here .. i think this is hilarious 😀
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