‘Tis the season (for another canine Christmas carol)

Did you really think I would let a holiday season pass by without sending some new caroldies your way?  Perish the thought.

Tavish Claus via wantmorepuppies.com

Hey, lady… let’s get this show on the road.

A Game Upon the Midnight Clear

It came upon a midnight clear,
That canine urge to go.
Whining and wiggling for all they’re worth,
To lead you into the cold.
Canine mirth, you’re out and then,
That puppy won’t do a thing.
You head back in to get some sleep,
Before that alarm does ring.

You’re back to sleep and then they come,
Cold noses end dream world.
And then on sleepy feet you float,
From bed you are uncurled.
Out again, they make no gains,
Back in the house you bring,
Your stubborn and insistent hounds,
Who still won’t do a thing.

To sleep again, you’re on the road,
When they say no, no, no.
You leash again, get on the way,
Your painful steps are slow.
You know it is beyond your powers,
To untangle from this string.
You trudge along a helpless toad,
As daylight begins to sing.

Want more caroldies?  You’re obviously a glutton for punishment (or, more accurately, PUN-ishment).  However, you’re obviously in charge of your own destiny, so… click at your own risk.

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Walking in a Neutered Wonderland

Disclaimer: Tavish does not endorse, nor does he appreciate, the “humor” of this post.

Super Tavish via wantmorepuppies.com

I can’t even look at you right now, Ma.

I was recently reminded of a particular caroldy that I began in the comments over at Something Wagging a few years ago.  It seems high time that we revisit that little gem and add a few more verses.

Walking in a Neutered Wonderland

Puppy balls, are you listening?
At the vet’s, the tools are glistening.
It’ll all be all right, but by later tonight,
You’ll be walking in a neutered wonderland.

Gone away, is your manhood.
Instead you see, you’ll be fixed good.
You might think it’s wrong, but just go along
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

To the dog park you can totally go, man,
And the fertile females will not frown.
Lots of fun you’ll have,
I know you still can.
Don’t let this operation get you down.

Treats aplenty, you’ll require.
As you recover, by the fire.
To face unafraid,
The different junk the vet made.
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

I totally get you’re down about this stuff, and
And now you think our evil has renown.
We didn’t ask your thoughts,
But give it time, man.
You’re still the king, just no jewels set in your crown.

Just wait and see, you’ll be thrilling.
Without your balls, you’ll be chilling.
You’ll frolic and play,
The same old sweet way,
Walking in a neutered wonderland.

So… that happened. Sorry, everyone. Feel free to caption this photo of Tavish as my holiday gift to you.

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He sees you when you’re eating…

I hope you’ve been good* this year.  Tavish Claus has been watching.

Tavish Claus via wantmorepuppies.com

Tavish Claus in the house, y’all.

Tavish Claus is Coming to Town

You shouldn’t go out. You better not lie.
You better stay home. I’m telling you why.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

He’s going to kiss. He’ll be licking you twice.
He’s gonna ask if his dinner you’ll dice.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

He sees you when you’re eating.
He knows when you’ve got cake.
If you’re smart, you’ll share your food,
Or a giant mess he’ll make.

You shouldn’t hold out. His patience you’ll try.
He will refuse to go out, until he’s eaten your fries.
Tavish Claus is coming to town.

*In this context, being “good” means giving your dog lots of food. All the food. So much food. (Tavish Claus thinks with his stomach, obviously… I’m the one who has to think about his waistline. I totally get how Mrs. Claus must feel.)

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Canine Christmas carols, part deux

That’s right, I’m referencing a Charlie Sheen movie from 1993. What of it?

Anyway, it’s time for another caroldy installment. After all, caroldies are the reason for the season (or so I’ve heard). First, I’d like to share my new favorite caroldy, composed by Kristine from Rescued Insanity. She gave Wham’s Last Christmas the caroldy treatment, and it is amazing and awesome. Go read it.

(Wham!’s? How the heck do I make a band name ending in an exclamation point possessive? Oh, grammar gods, I need your help.)

via giphy.com

Up next, a few caroldies shared in the comments last weekContinue reading

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Christmas carols, doggie style

You know, I almost used this post title in the past. However, I chickened out. This year, I’m chickening in instead. (Is that the opposite of chickening out?)

In any event, I thought I’d kick things off with the first caroldy of the year. Pretend I’m singing it to you. (If you need to jog your memory, here’s the tune.)

via giphy.com

Be glad I’m not actually singing to you, as it would probably just hurt your ears. I really need a singer and director on my staff to take these to the next level. However, first I need a staff. It’s a real chicken and egg problem (or something). Anyway…

Joy to the World (Dog Edition)

Joy to the world! My owner’s home.
Let her fill up my bowl.
Let’s take a walk, around the block,
When lots of things I’ll be sniffing,
When lots of things I’ll be sniffing,
When lots and lots of things I’ll be sniffing.

Joy to the world! A brand new bone.
Let me chew upon it please.
While you watch TV, I’ll chew loudly,
You won’t hear a single word,
You won’t hear a single word,
You won’t hear, hear, a single word.

So, now it’s your turn. What songs deserve the caroldy treatment this year? The Greatest Hits CD so far includes:

Share your requests in the comments, add some more verses to the song above, or hit me with some caroldies of your own!

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Wag Libs: If I [blank], feed [blank]

You may already know that I’m a compulsive lyric changer. I adore song parodies. Changing songs has become my own melodic version of Mad Libs.

(Speaking of, how great are Mad Libs?)

Bella Libs: I Still Want More Puppies

Bella is not a fan.

With that in mind, I thought we’d play a little game of Wag Libs today. Tap your inner lyric changer and play along! Continue reading

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A night at the Pupsbury

I’m in a musical mood this week. On Sunday, I had the pleasure of seeing Tristan Prettyman and Anya Marina in concert. Are you a fan? You should be. For real. (They each have many fantastic songs, but one treat we got at the live show was the two of them taking the stage together to sing this funny song about Lindsey Lohan. It’s been stuck in my head ever since, along with many of the other tunes.)

My friend M is a fan, and she got me addicted. Now it’s my turn to pass that addiction on to you. Use it wisely.

Anyway, in spite of the fact that we set the clocks forward an hour and I’m still adjusting to the schedule change, I’ve been feeling pretty good this week. (As an aside, I love Daylight Savings time and welcome it with open arms. I wish that we just stayed on DST all year.) I think it’s because I’ve been starting each morning off with fantastic tunes. Music soothes the savage beast, right? I guess it soothes me too.

Although the video below does not contain one of the songs I use to pump myself up in the morning, it’s possible that I do look something like this dog to colleagues who happen to pass by my door in the early morning hours…

If that song is now stuck in your head, I apologize. Go discover some new Tristan and Anya tunes instead. (See, I’m such a pusher!)

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Dog carols: Here We Come a Sniff-Sniffing & Deck the Bowls

It’s time for some more caroldies! Let’s twist some new tunes today…

Here We Come A-Sniff Sniffing

Here we come a-sniff sniffing
Among the yards so green.
Here we come a-tracking
The squirrels that we have seen.

Food and treats come to you,
And to you your rope bone too.
And dog bless you, and send you, a pup this new year,
And dog send you a pup this new year.

Dog bless the family in this house,
Dog bless the felines too.
Should you get a dog this year,
Rescue’s the thing to do.

Love and snuggles come to you,
And some puppy kisses too,
And dog bless you, and send you, a pup so very dear,
And dog send you a pup so very dear.

Deck the Bowls

Deck the bowls with lots of food,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Share your dinner or else you are rude,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Don we now our eating poses,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Don’t ignore our furry noses,
Fa la la la la la la la la.

Set some full food bowls before us,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
We’ll thank you with a barking chorus,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Eating gives us so much pleasure,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Today, our intake do not measure.
Fa la la la la la la la la.

We can smell the feast a-cooking,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
We’ll steal the ham when you aren’t looking,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Either way we’ll feel like winners,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
As we’ll have eaten five full dinners,
Fa la la la la la la la la.

Apparently, I’m not the only one in the mood for caroldies today. Stop by Something Wagging This Way Comes to learn the lyrics to Here Comes Puppy Dog, The 12 Days of Christmas (puppy version), and I Walked the Dog on Christmas Day.

Want to revisit some of the earlier songs I’ve shared on here? I aim to please:

Welcome to the Advent Calendar for Dog Lovers hosted by Kol’s NotesPupLoveRescued InsanityWoof Woof Mama & I Still Want More Puppies

Today’s giveaway is sponsored by Dog’n It & Vitality in PetsClick here to enter to win tasty, all natural treats, plus be entered to win a Grand Prize package worth more than $1000!

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