*declares post complete, closes laptop, goes to the kitchen, eats a cookie in celebration of a job well done, eats a second cookie in celebration of how good that first cookie was, reconsiders answer, returns to computer*
Here’s the thing. The answer is really that simple… and yet, it’s not. All at the same time. Allow me to explain.
I don’t believe that “you” (in the broadest sense) have to choose between kids and dogs. I don’t think it’s a zero sum game. At the same time, do “you” (in the narrowest possible sense) have to choose between kids and dogs? I can’t answer that one. However, I have thoughts. Lots of them. Continue reading →
Memorial Day weekend is almost here. It’s time to dust off the patio furniture, call up a few friends, and fire up the grill. It can be hard to decide who to invite, so here are seven dogs you might want to “accidentally” leave off the guest list…
The dog who who tells everyone that he can grill better than you.
I happen to be a Jezebel reader. I may not always agree, but they almost always get me thinking. Today’s post is inspired by one of those thinking moments.
Recently, Jezebel published a post about the Yellow Dog Project. (Have you heard of it? It’s a pretty neat concept – for dogs that need space, owners tie a yellow ribbon around the dog’s leash or collar to signal to others that they should not approach the dog without asking. It’s as if the dog is wearing a caution sign.)
The post was actually rather complimentary about the Yellow Dog Project, but there was something about it that kind of stuck in my craw.
(As an aside, what exactly is a craw? Do I actually have one or is it just a figure of speech? Sounds like I’ve found my next Google project.)
Dear advertisers, marketers & others in charge of sounds on TV:
During a recent episode of Modern Family, there were no less than four doorbells in a single half hour of television. In my house, that translates to four instances of insane barking and general chaos. (One of these days, we’ll get over that doorbell mania.) I could barely get through the show.
Then, while I was watching the Oscars on Sunday, I saw a Hyundai commercial featuring the beeping of a dying smoke detector. (Apparently, this one has been around for a while, but I guess I have managed to skip over it until now. Thank you, DVR.) Luckily, Bella was upstairs at the time – nothing turns her into a neurotic mess faster than that beep. Tavish woke up, but then I muted it.
A tipster on Facebook mentioned that they read an article saying that marketers were including these sounds on purpose. The goal? To engage homes with dogs. Um, more like enrage. Or torture. At least in my house.
The video below is an extremely accurate depiction of how I feel every single time that Hyundai commercial comes on or there’s a doorbell on TV. (Don’t watch it where any dogs can hear it, okay?)
I used to assume that you just didn’t realize the chaos you were unleashing in my house. Now that I know your actions might just be premeditated, I’m feeling pretty grouchy. Be warned, advertisers. If you intentionally use these dog-annoying sounds in your commercial, I will remember your brands… but not in a good way.
Please. Make it stop.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Member of the Dog-Having Public
Readers, do these sounds cause chaos in your house? Do you also wish that advertisers would just cut it out? Let’s band together!
Bonus points if you know the inspiration for this post title. If you do, we were so meant to be besties. (For double bonus points, do you know which TV show also referenced that movie recently? It’s a good show. Add it to your DVR.)
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Today, I read a story that left my eye twitching with barely controlled rage. Prepare to experience a similar ocular fury… this story manages to hit multiple rage buttons at the same time.
(Before we dive in, I want to let you know that the story has a happy ending. That fact may keep your despair at bay, although it likely won’t dampen your anger.)
So, there’s this guy – let’s call him Moron – who thought he saw his male dog trying to hump another male dog. When confronted with this situation, what would you do? Continue reading →
