In which I get serious for a moment, and reflect on Mother’s Day

I’m about to have a serious moment here on my silly puppy blog…

Mother’s Day.  Not exactly an easy time of year when you’ve lost your mom.  If you, like me, have experienced this loss: (1) I’m giving you a big Internet hug right now, because I know we can both use it this weekend; and (2) I’m giving you a second big Internet hug because one wasn’t enough.

Time heals all wounds, or so the saying goes.  Not true, I’d argue. In this Slate article, Meghan O’Rourke movingly describes her experience with Mother’s Day after losing her mother.  (Warning: tissues probably needed.  Also, if you haven’t read O’Rourke’s 2008 Slate series on grief, it’s well worth a read, especially if you’ve ever lost a loved one.  And hey, you already have the tissues out, right?)  In particular, this passage in which O’Rourke quotes the book Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman really spoke to me:

“As much as the talking, the model-providing, the advice, it’s that we miss: the blanketing warmth. One of the women Edelman interviewed for her book said, movingly, about being motherless: “You have to learn how to be a mother for yourself. You have to become that person who says, ‘Don’t worry, you’re doing fine. You’re doing the best you can.’ Sure, you’ll call friends who say that to you. … But hearing it from that person who taped up all your scraped knees … that’s the one you keep looking for.”

In other words, a mother is irreplaceable.  It’s a loss that never quite goes away – something’s always a bit off.  I think O’Rourke’s use of the terms unmothered and unmoored are very accurate ways of describing this feeling.  Losing your mother is a bit like being set adrift.  The initial grief is strong – currents pushing you away from the shore.  But you realize that you can’t keep floating forever, and you remember how to swim, how to get through the day.  At first, you’re just treading water, trying to keep from sinking.  As you keep swimming (smiling here as I think about Dory singing “just keep swimming” in Finding Nemo), the sharp edges of grief start to dull and you are finally able to make some progress. (In fact, making sure to keep myself moving forward seemed a fitting way to honor the woman who raised me and shaped the person I would become.)  However, you realize that you will never be anchored in quite the same way again – one of your mooring lines has disappeared, and it’s not coming back.

I think about Mom every day, but the pain is less acute.  Even so, I still find myself longing to have her back, to be mothered again.  I never realized how often I used to call to ask some silly little cooking question or just to chat until I couldn’t just pick up the phone to do those things anymore.  Words don’t even do justice to how much I miss that woman, who was mother, confidant, and friend (once we got past my bratty teenager phase and I realized that there’s no friend quite like your mom).

My mom was the best.  Not having her here, to put it bluntly and not very eloquently, sucks.  Don’t get me wrong – I still have a great deal to be thankful for, and there are a lot of great things in my life.  I’m a very lucky gal, with a wonderful father, sister, husband, family, puppy, and friends.  In addition, I’ve acquired a fantastic mother-in-law along the way.  Happy Mother’s Day to her and all of the other wonderful women in my life who are mothers.  (That technically includes Bella too – after a youthful indiscretion, she found herself with puppies.  After she had them, it seems that the person kept the puppies and dropped Bella off at a shelter.  How could anyone bear to part with this cute little face?  I don’t understand people sometimes.  But I digress…)

Apparently I’m all about the big Internet hugs today, so here’s one for all of the mothers out there too.  Make sure you get some real-world hugs this weekend as well… me, I’ll be spending time with the hub and our furry child, Bella.  Expect some hugs, you two.  Back to the happy puppy posts in short order, I promise.  🙂

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To do: buy Bella a Braves jersey

Yesterday, I watched the Braves lose to the Nationals… heartbreaking!  I also forgot my camera, so I didn’t even get to take any pictures.  Bummer all the way around.

Anyway, in lieu of some good pictures of my own, I found these photos of Atlanta’s recent Bark in the Park event.  I like the idea of sporting events with puppy spectators… Bella wouldn’t even interrupt the game, since she doesn’t care for balls.  (Now if the sport was played with rope bones, that would be a different matter.)

I also realized today that I have neglected to order a Braves jersey for
Bellakins.  She does own a few jerseys – as you can see from these photos, they are both for New York teams (our
household bridges both sides of the Mason-Dixon Line).

It’s something of a travesty that I’ve yet to get her a Braves one as
well, so I’m adding that to my to do list.  Once I do, expect a photo.

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Back in St. Olaf…

Another weekend is upon us… meaning that it’s time for another No-Frown Friday.  (That’s right… a week later I still haven’t come up with a better title.  One of these days, inspiration will strike.)  Here’s a list of things designed to get your tail wagging:

  1. This week’s punny pet name is … Rose Nylabone.  (A pet with this name should live in a house in Florida with Dorothy Zbornibark, Blanche Deverpaw and Sofeline Petrillo.  This foursome should be given unlimited access to the lanai, and should be allowed to have cheesecake late at night when discussing their problems.  Under no circumstances should three of them be allowed to go off on their own and purchase a hotel.)
  2. In honor of Roscoe’s visit to Bella, this slideshow showcases pets in pairs.
  3. Has anyone else been following Such Tweet Sorrow?  It’s Romeo and Juliet for the Twitter generation.  Check it out.  It’s Shakespeare’s  “birthday,” after all.
  4. If you enjoyed this week’s punny pet name, you should watch this hilarious tribute to Betty White.  (Warning: it’s catchy and may get stuck in your head, supplanting some other valuable info you have stored in there.  It’s worth the risk.)

In closing, here’s a vintage Bella photo:

Putting the lazy in La-Z-Boy (circa 2004)

 

I hope this photo inspires you to find some lazy time of your own this weekend. Perhaps you should relax on the couch and watch old episodes of the Golden Girls. You deserve it.

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Bella needs to work on her hostessing skills

This past weekend, Bella had the opportunity to play hostess. My dad and sister came to visit and brought along their pup, Roscoe.  Bella and Roscoe had not met before, and Bella hasn’t had any puppy sleepovers in the new house.  We weren’t sure how it would go – Bella was definitely not happy when a strange puppy arrived at her house on Friday night. After Roscoe got used to Bella and being in our house, he was able to relax. He’s a pretty sweet guy.

The photo at right photo sums up Bella’s initial reaction to having an intruder in her house.

We achieved a shaky peace on Saturday, and by Sunday Bella was even letting Roscoe play with some of her toys.  Like Bella, toys are no match for his powers of destruction.  (Speaking of vigorous chewers, there’s an interesting discussion going on at PetSugar regarding the best toys for chewers.  We’ve had a great deal of luck with these Tuffy Toys.  Bella loves them, and they last much longer than any other toys we’ve tried. At left is a shot of her with her current favorite, the sting ray – or as the hub calls it, the bicycle seat.)
She has a number of these toys… and she gave Roscoe quite the look when he was playing with one of them.  Bella was a bit wary of his presence, but she eventually adapted.  However, she did seem pretty happy when she was once again the only dog in the house.

The end.
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Dog, meet Whale. Whale, meet Dog.

Is there some kind of special bond between whales and dogs?  Check out this post at Discovery News.  The video of the whale and the dog K-I-S-S-I-N-G (I couldn’t resist) reminded me of the time Bella licked a goose.  Maybe the dog in the video has a Bella-esque way of interacting with the world – lick first, ask questions later.

Also, is it just me, or is whale one of those words that looks weirder each time you type it?  It’s probably just me.

(And now I’m saying it funny too.. like Stewie’s pronunciation of cool
whip
on Family Guy.)

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At least Bella won’t need a college fund, right?

Being a pet owner can be expensive at times, but the little monsters are totally worth it.  This article offers up some tips on how pet owners can save money.

Of note – tip #4 (shop around for vet care).  We tried out a number of vets before we found our current one – the practice is great.  Although it’s not the closest vet, it’s worth the drive even though that means having to try to keep Bella from getting carsick.  I believe that when it comes to vet care, finding a vet you I can trust is more important than finding the lowest bidder.  However, I recognize that I’m lucky enough to be able to afford whichever vet I choose – and I appreciate that this article is providing some alternatives for those who may not be in such a fortunate position.  In any event, I have learned that sometimes it’s wise to shop around for medications – for example, Frontline is a lot cheaper at Costco than at the vet’s office.

My favorite tip?  Tip #1 (start by rescuing a pet).  I still remember finding a picture of Bella on Petfinder and convincing the (now) hub that we just had to meet her.  We adopted her from HART, and it was definitely one of the best decisions we ever made.  How could we resist this face?

Vintage Bella photo from the vault, circa 2008.

 
Given the dreary day outside, I thought a sunny photo was the best defense.

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It’s not a baby blog or an angry blog, but it’s all mine…

So, given the proliferation of blogs lately among my friends & family (hereinafter known as blog-liferation), I have decided that I might as well join the crowd.  However, while I have decided to give in to the blog-liferation, I’m going with the velvet rope model for now.  Invitation only, kittens.*  Consider yourself one of the elite.

We’ll see what I make of this space…  for now, here’s a photo of Bella to tide you over.

 
Her future’s so bright, she needs to buy some shades specially engineered for dogs.

In closing… puppies.

*In retrospect, I don’t think I want to call you kittens. That’s too pro-cat for this clearly pro-pup blog. Alternate term of endearment is under consideration.

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