Tag Archives: kids

Adventures in Fur-tility: Pets as practice for children?

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(Alternate post title? What to expect when you’re deflecting.)

Stop me if you’ve heard this one…

At the dog park | biologicalclockie.com

Courtesy of my new webcomic – click to check it out!

I’m not going to ask for a show of hands, but I have a feeling plenty of us have been on the receiving end of this sort of comment.  After all, there are people who think any plans for your uterus are fair game for conversation.  (It’s called uterUS because we’re all in this together. As a society. Or something.)  And obviously any and all choices you make in life are geared toward your eventual role as parent.  (Ladies and their universal desire for babies, am I right?)

When you put those two together, the only conclusion is that you adopted a pet to practice your nurturing skills.  Sort of a placeholder until you can fulfill your biological destiny – keep a plant and a pet alive, and then you’re obviously ready for parenthood.

I’m often at a loss regarding how to respond to this sort of nonsense. (Or I think of the perfect Jerk Store comeback later, a la George Constanza.) A withering stare is always appropriate.  I’d also vote for a blunt and snarky comment about how rude this whole topic is.  Or perhaps one of these?

  • “You’re right.  Having a pet really has prepared me for parenthood.  If crate and clicker training worked for Spike, it will work for a baby.”
  • “Not only am I getting some practice in, I also have a reliable vet and groomer already lined up for my baby.”
  • “Oh, crap.  I think I did this backwards. I had a kid for a few years as practice for my pet, but I gave her up when I got the kitten. Wonder what happened to her.”
  • “So many good lessons.  If my kid cries when I leave the room, I’ll just toss him a Kong filled with peanut butter to distract him.”
  • “I figure I should practice it all – so once Fluffy turns 18 and can finally move out, then I’ll be ready for kids.”
  • “How dare you!  That’s not a dog. It’s a kid wearing a designer faux fur bodysuit.”

Anyone have a good response to this question? Share yours in the comments!

(Don’t forget to swing by Biological Clockie and check out my new comic!  You can also follow along on Facebook and Twitter.)

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The elephant in the womb?

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Please forgive me for that post title. It was the best of the worst, so just be thankful I spared you the others. Working titles included “the birth of an animation” and “make way for chucklings.” I told you they were bad.

However, the title seemed fitting, in a way. After all, it’s no secret. Over the past year or so, posts here have been infrequent. I can imagine that finding new content here could sometimes feel as unlikely as finding a Golden Ticket in your Special K.

Okay, maybe that’s not the best example. That Golden Ticket was nothing but trouble, unless you relish the idea of turning into a blueberry or almost drowning in a river of chocolate. I’m hoping that new posts here aren’t having that effect on you.

Anyway, I digress. (Big surprise, right?) I wanted to talk a little bit about my absence and let you know that my time away from you has not been in vain. I’ve FINALLY accomplished one of my goals for 2015 (and 2014 and 2013)…

I launched that webcomic I kept talking about! So, I finally followed through on that promise (or made good on that threat, depending on your point of view) and got some of the ideas out of my brain and onto (virtual) paper.  It’s out in the world, and it’s just getting started.

It’s called Biological Clockie, and she really wants to be your new BFF (Best Frenemy Forever):

  • The webcomic lives here – you’ll find new comics on Mondays and Thursdays.
  • You can sign up to get new comics by email using the form in the right sidebar on the BC website.
  • If you’re more of a feed reader kind of person, sign up here.
  • Biological Clockie has her own Facebook page and Twitter profile too – follow for updates, funny stuff, and more.

So, that’s the big news here.  I hope you’ll stop by and check out my new site – I’d love to hear your thoughts! After all, how could you resist finding out more about this face?

She's waiting for you...

She’s waiting for you…

Working on the comic has also helped me start finding my blogging mojo too, so I’ll probably be posting more regularly here as well.  It’s win-win (for me at least).

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Are dogs furry kids?

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I (somewhat) recently read a piece from Smithsonian Magazine that posed the following question: Are Dogs Now Just Furry Kids? I figured it would be your typical article about how people spend a lot on their dogs, dress them up, and do crazy things like blog about them.

I was wrong.

Instead, it was all science-y and stuff. Researchers have found that the human-dog bond is in some ways very similar to a parent-child bond.

Now, I’m not one who considers myself a mom to my pups (I don’t really know what word I’d use), but I thought I’d do my own non-scientific analysis as to whether dogs are simply furry children. (Being an English major, my “scientific analysis” is really just an imaginary debate I had in my own head. Just roll with it, okay?)

Continue reading →

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The right way to ask people when they plan to have kids

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Okay, students. Professor Judge E. Dog is back today with another useful lesson. You may have friends or family members who seem stubbornly unwilling to shout their reproductive plans from the rooftops. When interrogated asked, they give “cute” answers such as “When we’re ready, we’ll let you know” or “I just want more puppies.”

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. There are countless articles out there advising people how to evade your questions and hide this important information. These devious masterminds have a host of skillful dodges at their disposal. What’s a Nosy Parker to do? It’s just not fair. You’re just embracing your inner Mary Worth. Where are the tips about the right way to ask this question? (Here. Those tips are here.) Continue reading →

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Kid wisdom: Don’t hit the dog

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If I ever have children – and don’t ask if I intend to, because I’m not telling – I hope that my kid is as cool as the one that submitted this homework assignment:

via imgur.com

source | terms

I’d like to give this kid’s parents a high five. Well done, child raisers. I hope that your son got an A+ on this one. (In case you’re wondering, I would have also accepted crossing out the photo of the man hitting the dog and replacing it with a drawing of a tailor measuring a dog for a miniature tuxedo. Either way, score one for the independent thinkers out there.)

Also, the person who wrote these questions in the first place has some serious issues, aside from the whole hitting thing. I wonder if some kid read this assignment and was inspired to put his baby brother in a pot. (That’s on you, mysterious workbook author. I hope you can live with yourself.)

h/t Huffington Post

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Follow-Up Friday: Hide your kids, hide your dogs edition

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I’ve got something a little different for you today. Instead of my usual No Frown Friday, I’m changing things up a bit. (However, I may still have some linky goodness in store for you in the near future.)

This week, I have the pleasure of co-hosting Heart Like a Dog‘s Follow-Up Friday. It’s the blog hop that lets you wrap up your week and leads you right into the weekend.

Let’s get to it! We’ll start with some quick hits on my posts this week, and then end with the great comments I received about whether you have to choose between having a dog or having kids. That post led to quite a bit of discussion!

Continue reading →

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Do you have to choose between having a dog and having kids?

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No.

*declares post complete, closes laptop, goes to the kitchen, eats a cookie in celebration of a job well done, eats a second cookie in celebration of how good that first cookie was, reconsiders answer, returns to computer*

Here’s the thing. The answer is really that simple… and yet, it’s not. All at the same time. Allow me to explain.

I don’t believe that “you” (in the broadest sense) have to choose between kids and dogs. I don’t think it’s a zero sum game. At the same time, do “you” (in the narrowest possible sense) have to choose between kids and dogs? I can’t answer that one. However, I have thoughts. Lots of them. Continue reading →

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Puppy Woof Woof

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I don’t have words… I found the video below oddly addictive:



(via Best Week Ever)

It took me forever to figure out why the song sounded so familiar.  Did you figure it out?

I also wanted to say a quick thank you for some recent awards we received.  Big thanks to:

and

Instead of passing these awards along, I would like to encourage you to visit the wonderful blogs who gave this award to us, and then check out our other friends listed in the blogroll at right. Lots of awesome reads!

His name is Puppy, he goes woof woof, woof woof woof…

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