LOLCat speek hurts mah brain

I’m puzzled.

Cats. They’re the kings of the jungle. The aloof animals who will let you pet them… but only on their terms. Basically, cats are just too cool for everything. They’re kind of the original hipsters.

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Growing up, I was fairly certain that cats were the smartest creatures out there. Take Garfield, for example. He might be fat and lazy, but he’s also clever and well-spoken. (Well thought-bubbled?) In contrast to sweet, lovable, dim Odie (and hopeless Jon), Garfield was clearly the brains of the operation.

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My first cat, Buttercup, also gave off an air of superiority. She seemed pretty sure that she was… the cat’s pajamas. I wasn’t quite sure where the dogs and I fell on the intelligence continuum, but I knew that it was somewhere below the cat.

So, why did the Internet decide that cats have poor grammar and spelling skills? Honestly, it wouldn’t really surprise me to learn that cats actually speak in Elizabethan English. I’m not joking. Cats probably judge our grammar. (I’m pretty sure that this cat does. And this one just judges us. For everything. I told you cats were hipsters.)

I’m genuinely curious. Who decided that if adorable animals could talk, they’d sound like they recently suffered some sort of head injury? It’s fascinating that lolcat has become its own weird language. You can even translate regular English into lolcat (and it seems that lolcat has its own set of rules) – hence the grammatically tortured title of this post. (You can also read the Bible in lolcat, if that’s your jam.)

Don’t get me wrong… I’m as charmed by emoticats as the next gal. However, this whole phenomenon is beyond my comprehension. I know that some of you out there may be more comfortable with lolcat speak than I am – if so, care to enlighten me? (I mean, the guy who founded that Cheezburger site is obviously doing pretty well for himself, so perhaps I’m the one who is missing something here.)

Maybe cats are actually behind this whole LOLCat thing… they’re lulling us into a false sense of security. Then they’ll make their move.

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You’ve been warned.

Do you speak lolcat? I’d love to hear why it appeals to you. If you’re not a fan, why not? What do you think cats would sound like if they could talk to us?

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DOGma: Channel your inner bitch & take up some space

Sometimes – okay, all the time – I want to write about something, but I can’t quite figure out how it fits into this blog. Often, I’ll jot down the idea, which then languishes on my list of post ideas until I forget what inspired it in the first place. Other times, I’ll stretch things just a bit… forcing a round peg into a square hole (do I have that backwards?) and hoping you’ll indulge me. Today is one of those days. Let’s all say some affirmations together and hope it works out, okay?

What’s today’s topic? Well, it’s about space. A few friends shared this video on Facebook, and I just knew I had to say something about it. Hang in there. There’s a dog connection at the end for the patient among you… Continue reading

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Kittens are doin’ it for themselves

Today… feels like a cat day.

  1. First up, your punny pet name: Meowucci Prada. 
  2. Can we discuss how much Iove it when cats have titles added to their names? You know, like Colonel Meow or Captain Pancakes.
  3. Speaking of punny goodness, this site takes song lyrics and changes them to be about cats. I think I’ve found my soulblog.
  4. Um, this proposal is certifiably adorable.
  5. Cats – what can’t they do? I mean, seriously. They can keep your head warm or make your day better. They’re models and style icons, gracing the covers of magazines. They’re even in politics.
  6. Oh, and did I mention that they’d be your eyes when you couldn’t see?
  7. This photo reminds me that as long as there have been pets, there have been pet lovers. (I can’t even. Just… awwww.)
  8. Any London cat lovers here? If so, add “visit the cat cafe” on your to do list. If you’re in Canada, you could check out a cat playground instead.

Cats – they’re just like us!

In case you missed it, here’s what we were up to on the blog this week:

Today’s post has been brought to you by the letter C and the number 2 (for Cute Cats). But… don’t forget to watch your back, okay?

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Hold on to August a little longer with these 14 blog posts…

It’s time for another monthly roundup, so set aside some time to catch up on your reading. Here are a few posts that made me smile in the month of August: Continue reading

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Children make terrible pets (and I make terrible puns)

While visiting my in-laws last weekend, I accompanied my sister-in-law on an errand to the teacher supply store. (It was my very own Journey to the Center of Educational Worth.) Have you ever been in one of these places? For my readers who teach, I’m sure it’s old hat. For me, it was like peeking behind the curtain in the Emerald City and seeing the real Wizard of Oz.

I’d never really stopped to consider where all of those bulletin board displays, charts, and classroom signs came from. (Magic? Elves?) Now I know – they come from a store that has every school supply you can imagine, as well as hundreds that you cannot. Continue reading

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The right way to ask people when they plan to have kids

Okay, students. Professor Judge E. Dog is back today with another useful lesson. You may have friends or family members who seem stubbornly unwilling to shout their reproductive plans from the rooftops. When interrogated asked, they give “cute” answers such as “When we’re ready, we’ll let you know” or “I just want more puppies.”

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. There are countless articles out there advising people how to evade your questions and hide this important information. These devious masterminds have a host of skillful dodges at their disposal. What’s a Nosy Parker to do? It’s just not fair. You’re just embracing your inner Mary Worth. Where are the tips about the right way to ask this question? (Here. Those tips are here.) Continue reading

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Spam comments I have known, loved, and been confused by

Never underestimate the enjoyment you can get from occasionally reading your spam comments. I know – we’re all pretty busy, and it’s hard enough to find the energy to check to see if a real comment was mistakenly imprisoned in spam jail.

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As some of our friends have demonstrated in the past, however, these comments can provide a needed chuckle. The extra effort is sometimes worth it.

There was once an extended time period during which a spammer (or two) kept leaving me spam comments in the form of Harry Potter quotes. For example:

“I thought there was a Ministry of Magic?” asked Vernon Dursley abruptly.”

I was so charmed that I almost approved all of those comments. Almost.

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In any event, I miss them now. Come back, literary spammers!

I guess I’ll have to make do with this spam instead… Continue reading

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A fairy tail ending…

It’s time for your No Frown Friday link roundup – let’s get to it!

  1. First up, your punny pet names: Snow Bite and Finderella (for a fish, of course).
  2. Speaking of puns, this link has superhero dog puns for days. It’s glorious.
  3. Fairy tales are on my mind this week thanks to this wonderful post: Six Fairy Tales for the Modern Woman. (I rarely say this, but even the comments are worth reading. The whole page is full of win.)
  4. What say you, Feminist Taylor Swift? Sounds right up your alley. Sing it, sister.
  5. In other fairy tale-type news, I’m intrigued by this story.
  6. I like my princesses sassy and not focused solely on finding a prince. (Listen closely, Mr. Mouse.) Too many frogs out there anyway, am I right?
  7. If you do find yourself surrounded by frogs, just shake it off. It’ll be okay.

    Shake it off.

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  8. Anyway… I’m sorry, Dog Mario, but your princess is in another castle. Again. Feel like you’ve made a huge mistake? Perhaps you should just relax on the porch and just let her rescue herself.
  9. Maybe it’s better to be Queen instead. Or maybe it’s more fun to be a villain? Either way, I’m sure that whatever you choose, it’ll be just peachy.

In any event, enjoy your quest. Bonus points if you look this cute while doing it:

Finally, I thought I’d do a quick roundup of what’s been happening on the blog this week. So, in case you missed it:

Have a great weekend!

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