The 7 habits of highly irritating dog walkers

Do you want to be an irritating dog walker? The kind that others see on the street and are immediately annoyed by? If so, today is your lucky day!

For one day only, I’m offering a free primer on how to be an annoying dog walker. By employing these seven simple tips, you too can be the bane of your neighborhood! (Keep in mind, to really be the most irritating person on the block, you should use all of these tips in combination with each other. One or two just won’t be effective enough.)

Before we start, I’d like to introduce you to today’s instructor: Continue reading

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Twilight: Barking Dawn?

Well, I’ve already offered you the punny names of Robert Cattison and Edward Seagullen, but I’ve never actually done a Twilight-themed link roundup. The last movie just came out, so I guess there’s no time like the present:

  1. First up, your punny pet names: Kristen Chewart and Taylor Pawtner.
  2. Anyone dressing up to go see the movie? If so, here’s an option you probably should not consider.
  3. Do your dogs ever play vampire-style? If so, they’d better watch out, or the Dogturi might come get them!
  4. I love a celeb with a cute dog.
  5. I’m not even sure what to do with this one. (While I’m at it… fake spoiler alert!)
  6. Thinking about vampires always makes me want to go reread Bunnicula. I can’t help it. (Speaking of, I think I just uncovered the secret behind my obsession with that series. It apparently continues, and it includes books in which Bunnicula meets Edgar Allen CrowĀ and a trip to the Howliday Inn. That author just gets me.)
  7. Oooh… sparkly!
  8. In addition to sparkly vampires, Twilight also involves wolves. Speaking of wolves, here’s a great question I can’t believe I never thought to ask.
  9. Continuing down that trail, have you ever wondered what it would be like to live among the wolves?

Finally, I could totally get behind this movie:

So. Much. Yes.

So, are you going to see the movie? I’ll be taking it in with a few girlfriends in two weeks, once the opening night madness has calmed down a bit.

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Read this book: What the Dog Ate

I love it when one of my favorite bloggers publishes a book. Why, you might ask? Aside from the fact that it gives me hope that I may one day achieve my own meager publishing dreams, it also means that I get to read even more awesome stuff from the blogger in question. Sometimes, those daily snippets just aren’t enough…

Today, I’m thrilled to tell you about a book written by Jackie Bouchard, the brilliant blogger behind Pooch Smooches. The book is called What the Dog Ate, and it’s the tale of a woman named Maggie who reinvents her life after a vet visit reveals some unwelcome news. You’ll find out what the dog ate in the first chapter, so I don’t think I need to give a spoiler alert here… the dog ate a pair of underwear. However, the underwear didn’t belong to Maggie or to her husband, but to another woman.

The book made me laugh, and it made me cry. I picked it up and couldn’t put it down – in fact, I finished it in less than two days. So, needless to say, I think you should go read this book. In case you’re not convinced (although I can’t imagine you’d need more encouragement than my ringing endorsement), here are five more reasons:

  • The introduction is clever and immediately grabs your attention. (Also, I identified with Maggie right away. I’ve often wondered why my dogs would prefer to get sick on the carpet when there’s an easy-to-clean tile floor mere steps away, and I also spell certain words to keep the dogs from going crazy.)
  • Maggie is a successful, smart woman. It’s a nice change of pace from the oft-irresponsible heroine you see in romantic comedies.
  • Jackie has a knack for colorful descriptions. One of my personal favorites was when she described something as having “more gray area than the mosh pit at a Neil Diamond concert.”
  • Throughout the book, Maggie often looks to her dog for inspiration. I love that idea, and I love the fact that Jackie worked in a “dogtrine” pun.
  • Maggie is such an interesting character. We all know a Maggie. Inside of each of usĀ isĀ a Maggie. (When she attends an event in a Target dress, she compares the store’s bullseye to the Scarlet Letter. Who hasn’t felt that way?)

So, what are you waiting for? Go read this book!

What the Dog AteĀ is available for Kindle here, or you can purchase the print version here. (Jackie plans to donateĀ 10% of the profits on print sales to Best Friends Animal Society. She really is the coolest.)

Dog-loving disclosure: Author Jackie Bouchard gave me a free Kindle version of the book to review. Otherwise, I was not compensated in any way for this post, and the opinions here are all mine.

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Adventures in Ad-purr-tizing

It’s that time again… this week, I have a purrfect roundup for you:

  1. Today’s punny pet names: Don Drapurr and Roger Purrling.
  2. Advertising using cats? You can’t go wrong with some good old fashioned catvertising. (It’s so totally a thing.)
  3. Why stop with advertising? Cats would totally create a monopoly and man (cat?) the phones as well to take your order. (Dear Cat Overlords: I would totally order a set of nesting cats.)
  4. Then they’d employ an army of canines to deliver the packages. (Cats would hire one of their own to do this job, but history has proven that cats are just too amazed by cars. They might make good bike messengers, but I hear that dogs are ready to step in there as well.)
  5. They would also pack the legislature with congresscats to help them get some valuable tuna subsidies. (Think I’m kidding?)
  6. ThisĀ diabolicalĀ plan, however, only works if cats can stay awake long enough to implement it and clean up to make a good impression on investors.

I don’t think cats will be content with starting at the bottom and working their way up, however. They’re more suited to be the boss…

On a related note, I almost shared this video with you instead. I have no idea what it’s advertising, but it’s weirdly hypnotic.

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